tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4987034451869317078.post4426252867493212301..comments2023-06-19T01:42:09.481-07:00Comments on D constructing D: The Value of CriticismDaktarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08291715601733518982noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4987034451869317078.post-64575742531600739212008-10-18T17:07:00.000-07:002008-10-18T17:07:00.000-07:00"Ooooh, would you get an earful from my Mom.&..."Ooooh, would you get an earful from my Mom."<br><br>Point 1. Your mom and I probably have had very different experiences in life. <br>Point 2. I'd probably like debating with your mom as much as I do you.<br>Point 3. I was talking about girls in childhood. Although I do think that girls (white girls anyway) <i>in general</i> get some version of the fairy tale upbringing (or maybe this is me generalizing my experiences to the greater whole). The workplace is an entirely different story. The workplace is where we are thrown in to sink or swim with little to no preparation. Or at least, I was. However, I still say rare is the little girl who is prepared for the harshness of the real world. When I look at how wet behind the ears my college students are, I can certainly say they have not arrived prepared.<br><br>"I've gotta get my day off started because I just got criticism on my 3rd chapter to the effect of "What are you doing? "<br><br>Chin up little camper. It's the process.<br><br>I think you are sort of missing my point. I wasn't really delving into the perceptions of women in the workplace (which would rightly bring up ideas of institutionalized sexism), just in the value of developing a thick skin. My real point was that most of the world, and women in particular, seem to have no stomach for the mudslinging, name-calling, inuendo-laden half-truths that pass for political campaigning these days. My feeling is that Obama and McCain can take it without flinching, not because they have extra-human powers, but because they have developed thick skins. Obama's apparently is much thicker than McCain's. =)<br><br>I'm just saying life gets easier once you get there. After working for 12 or 15 years, I came back to school. When I came here to interview, I asked the grad students, "who is the scariest professor in the department?" Unanimously, they said the chair. I've met the chair. I liked him so much I put him on my committee. I work for him. I have no idea what these kids were talking about. He's a cupcake compared to what I've been through. To them, he's just this big powerful scary guy. I stared down George Rabb. The chair doesn't scare me. I sorta like him.<br><br>It seems unfortunate to me that undergrads can get through college without developing thick skin. In fact, I think grad students could too were it not for the hazing that is qualifying/comprehensive exams. And even then, I don't think those are tough enough to do the job right. And my department has THE toughest comprehensive examination that I have ever heard of.<br><br>So you can tell your mom that I may be have coddled and protected as a child, but I am damn sure able to handle my own these days.<br><br>Keep writing.Trail Blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08291715601733518982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4987034451869317078.post-47016706872805375022008-10-18T10:06:00.000-07:002008-10-18T10:06:00.000-07:00"No two ways about it. We are coddled in life..."No two ways about it. We are coddled in life. We are protected from strife, strong words, and difficulties."<br><br>Ooooh, would you get an earful from my Mom. =] I think I see your point, but I disagree with the statement as written as a general proposition.<br><br>To avoid getting in deep into the whole thing -- I've gotta get my day off started because I just got criticism on my 3rd chapter to the effect of "What are you doing? What is this? Go back to when it was good and show me by Sunday" -- there is of course the perverse incentive that women who rise to the challenge of aggression are punished, normatively speaking, but being excluded from promotions and getting ahead. That's the institutional trap of sexism, and what makes it impossible to overcome in terms of purely self-initiative, without a political agenda of change (not that that's what you're suggesting). Women who are not aggressive enough get passed over because they don't have "killer instinct". Women who do rise to it and defend themselves and their opinions are equally likely to be evaluated more poorly -- by men and women -- for being a "bitch." Bitches may get ahead more often than meek women, but either way, getting ahead is as much luck as talent when the simple fact is that there isn't a good US cultural template for women leaders. Strike that, I mean, there's not a widespread-accepted template for it, being that you're too meek, or too mean.<br><br>A thick skin is essential. But, until we fix things politically, a strategic mind to "play the game", or the good luck and talent to be able to overwhelm people such that you don't have to play the game (it helps being model-hot in that case) is as necessary as a thick skin, and that's just unfair patriarchal bullshit.<br><br>If you had to choose, which of the countries that have already had an elected female head-of-state would you emigrate to? Ireland's already had 2 female presidents, if I recall -- AND they're getting into being a multicultural society. I'm just spitballing at this point.Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10444952585830773530noreply@blogger.com