Why Racism and Sexism aren't Equal

Thanks to Samhita at Feministing for this one. Donna Brazile gives a moving discussion of the imapct of Obama's candidacy, her experiences growing up with racism in America, along with a vision of our collective future. I figure Donna Brazile and I are about the same age.

Trust me. I never had to move to the back of the bus. My mother never had to warn me to be careful of anything more than someone offering me candy. I never had to be careful not to look someone in the eye. Had I gotten into Harvard (sorry, had to stop laughing there for a minute), no one would have called me uppity or thought that I got in on a quota system.

Oh, I might have had to deal with my share of "sweeties" and "dears", and I'm sure I lost a job opportunity or two when I was studying architecture due to my gender. I couldn't play little league baseball. My grandfathers didn't really want to take me fishing with them. But I never had to fear for my personal safety at far too early an age because of my gender. Puberty brings on a whole world of new concerns for women at a time when men begin to look on you as a sexual object, but that reality isn't exclusive to white women. We all deal with that equally.

There is no way you can convince me that electing a woman president or vice president is nearly as cutting edge or will have nearly the social impact as electing a black president.

It's funny. I went to school with a kid just like Obama. Biracial. Very popular. Our class president, in fact. Dated one of the prettiest white girls in the school. He went to the naval academy on a scholarship and served for a number of years before getting out. Last I heard of him, he was selling insurance. I wonder sometimes if his experiences outside of our small high school were as accepting of him. I'll never know.

But I know where Donna Brazile stands, and I stand with her.

The Pictoral Election

From FARK

Watching a Campaign Crash and Burn

Rachael Maddow's analysis of the second presidential debate rings true. McCain's is a campaign that is unraveling. Desperate to do something that will capture attention, McCain looks like a man trying to win a gold medal in diving by doing the biggest cannonball. First it's Palin as VP. Then it's suspending his campaign to address the economic crisis. Now it's another bailout of people who made poor borrowing decisions. McCain's campaign is doomed. Why? Because he's now cast, not as an underdog, but as a loser. And no one wants to jump on the loser bandwagon. I think most people who claim to not have made up their mind have. And I think they are all leaning Democrat. I listen to these supposedly independent voters talking on the various news outlets. I don't think there is an undecided voter left in America at this point. McCain can't put the economic crisis behind him, and that is the one issue that he tanks on. He's done. Might as well pack up the banners and call it a day. Nothing left to do but wait for the fat lady to sing.

Tonight, the media certainly seemed to think America has settled on a president. Chris Matthews even described America reflecting back on having elected its first African American president in response to his ability to lead in a time of crisis. So much for inexperience. Apparently, Obama is the man we can trust.

Whether or not Obama is capable of such leadership remains to be seen. I think it will simply be a hard and difficult road for us all and the president may just be along for the ride. Certainly, the next president has been saddled with debt, wars, foreign policies and hardships that will make his job infinitely more difficult. It's not the world is such a more dangerous place. It's that we are so much less capable of dealing with it.

I do think in spite of it all, the world will breathe a collective sigh of relief when Obama is elected. His inauguration will be that 21st century Camelot and at least for a time things will look up.

And then the hard work will begin.

I know a little about love

Tonight, I want to talk about love. You might not think it to talk to me, hell, you might not think it even if you knew me well, but I miss being in love. For all my bitching about marriage and the utter and absolute failure that mine turned out to be, being in love is...wonderful.

And the fact of the matter is love isn't hard, relationships are. I am the first to admit that half of the problem in my marriage was me, but there seems to be something larger going on here. When it comes to love, my siblings and I suffer from poor mate selection. Three of us are divorced, the fourth getting divorced after having stayed together just for the kids. (Trust me. The kids would have been better off if those two had gotten away from each other years ago.) One brother married a mental ward nurse who stole psychotropic drugs from her patients. My sister married a philandering counterfeiter. I married a pot-smoking, chronically unemployed man whose life ambition seemed to be getting on disability/unemployment without cause. My other brother married what I can only term as the biggest bitch on Earth, and I mean that in a respectful way, because she really had an aptitude for it. Although I have spent hour upon hour reflecting on this matter, I still have no explanation for this universal failure in my family. My parents seemed to have an incredibly life-affirming, strong, healthy, meaningful, and loving relationship. I'd have given anything to have met a man like my father. My sister and I joke that our man-pickers are broken.

The problem with marrying poorly is that you don't rebound like you did from the girlfriend-boyfriend relationships. It took me a full two years post-divorce before I could even think about dating again. But in that down-time, I did a lot of soul-searching and I learned a lot about myself, my desires, my sexual triggers, what I find attractive and what I do not. I don't know if it was the severity of the breakup that caused the intense reflection. When someone tries to kill you, isn't that natural? In any event, I've come to understand my faults, identify my idiosyncrasies, and also to know my own strengths and how I can use them to benefit a relationship. I have worked to tone down the more distasteful parts of my personality. Dare I say that I almost think I might have something valuable to offer someone in a relationship? I think I've achieved some measure of emotional maturity.

At the same time, my tastes have changed. I don't need a bad boy. I know what I find desirable and attractive and for once I can honestly say that if I find him, I doubt he will try to kill me this time. So here I am at 45 thinking maybe, just maybe, I'm ready to try again. So I put on my suit and dared anyone to say something about the way I look in it and I'm ready to dive in.

Unfortunately, someone drained the dating pool.

While small-town America was as good a place as any for undergoing this transformation, it isn't a great place to crawl out of your chrysalis. I've got these boss new wings and no one to flash them in front of. I have isolated myself in the middle of nowhere, over-educated myself, developed some pretty strong opinions, learned to stand on my own two feet, and realized that I don't NEED a man for anything. While that may be very empowering for me, it doesn't exactly put me high on the dating list for the pool of single 30- to 53-year olds in Poontwang, USA.

I'm reminded of those empty-nesters who say that now that they've learned all the lessons and gotten the kids out of the house, they finally feel prepared to raise a child. All that wealth of knowledge just...what? Wasted?

I try to be patient. I try to get out there, wherever there is. I've done the online dating thing. I've been willing to go on blind dates or be set up by friends. I seldom pass up an opportunity to meet new people, to mingle, to try. Nothing has been terribly successful. In the past 8 years, I haven't met one man truly interested in a serious, meaningful relationship. I've met an awfully lot of overgrown boys interested in recreating scenes from their favorite pornos. And ya know, I'm better than that. I just think that there is more to life than random sex or sex-buddies. I don't understand them....the players. They are just satisfied with the nothingness of meaningless sex. They don't even seem to be interested in love. I'm just left with the feeling that I could have done a better job myself, and I wouldn't have had to change the sheets. Love is such a wonderful feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever in love at all. After a while, you being to doubt things.

There was a man once that I am sure I loved. I was young. He was forbidden. It was over really before it even started. It will be the greatest regret of my life if that small taste was all I ever get.

And if you wonder what prompted this, I'll tell ya. Take a look at this. I know at first it might not make sense, but it is relevant. He makes a statement about mid-way through this. Right about the point that he starts to get serious. He says, "I am an expert on my own story."

It's an excellent point. We are all experts on our own story. A little self-analysis, a little introspection, even if we don't find the ultimate answer, is seldom a bad thing. If it weren't for self-introspection, I'd still be drunk dialing old boyfriends. And usually our behavior and our outlook are more important than our achievements and whatever glory and reward we seek. Whatever I have learned about love....whatever I have learned about being a good person in this world....I have learned from examining my own story and making sure it was leading down the road I wanted. Making adjustments, constant vigilance. And we don't have to be embarrassed about sharing these things. Craig Ferguson can do it on national television. I can do it in a blog. I had a professor give an extremely moving life lesson to a classroom that expected a lecture on Hamlet. We needn't hide behind some veil that makes us pretend not to be human. We fuck up. We learn from it. We move forward.

I did a terrible disservice to a man when I agreed to marry him. I should have known better. Now I do. I want to love again. There, I said it. And I feel better for it.

Health Care on the Campaign Trail

The NYT's Paul Krugman and I often haven't seen eye to eye. In general, I've tended to think he was an old fart. Well, I should clarify, he's something of an economic conservative. But his analysis of McCain and Obama's health plans are spot on and just go to show that what Biden was saying in the VP debate was on the money.

Without the tax break (that employers currently get when they offer employees heatlh insurance), many employers would drop their current health plans. Several recent nonpartisan studies estimate that under the McCain plan around 20 million Americans currently covered by their employers would lose their health insurance.

But the people gaining insurance would be those who need it least: relatively healthy Americans with high incomes....Meanwhile, the people losing insurance would be those who need it most: lower-income workers who wouldn’t be able to afford individual insurance even with the tax credit, and Americans with health problems whom insurance companies won’t cover.

In short, the McCain plan makes no sense at all, unless you have faith that the magic of the marketplace can solve all problems.

It seems pretty common-sensical that it doesn't take much in the way of necessary health care to break an uninsured person. I have had to forgo the appropriate medical care due to an inability to pay for it as a student. I can't imagine facing a catastrophic illness and having the current coverage I have. All the more reason to graduate and get on with it. I can't afford to be underinsured and get older.

The Internet as Objective, Independent Media

I've noticed something very interesting in the past few weeks. Internet sources are now seen as more objective and independent than traditional media.

Listen to this bit from Michael Shear and WaPo this morning:

Moments after the House of Representatives approved a bailout package for Wall Street on Friday afternoon, the McCain campaign released a television ad that challenges Obama's honesty and asks, "Who is Barack Obama?" The ad alleges that "Senator Obama voted 94 times for higher taxes. Ninety-four times. He's not truthful on taxes." The charge that Obama voted 94 times for higher taxes has been called misleading by independent fact-checkers, who have noted that the majority of those votes were on nonbinding budget resolutions. (emphasis mine)

I remember a day when the major newspapers and news outlets were considered capable of fact-checking information on their own. But, it is testament to the times that if NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox News, CNN, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, or any of the other major news players were to present information as fact, a vast majority of people would view it as untrue due to the news media's partisan bents.

How did this happen? I think it is all this fair and balanced business. As a scientist, I see this happen all the time in the news. In the interests of presenting "both sides of a story" (a false dichotomy in most cases), the media will present some scientific breakthrough and then an opposing view--usually an outright rejection of the findings based on some obscure technicality. And what is the American public left with? The idea that rejecting scientific findings based on beliefs is OK because even scientists can't agree on this stuff. So there are people who actually think that we haven't landed on the moon, that global warming is a government conspiracy, that evolution isn't true or if it is it is directed by the will of God, that the Holocaust never happened, etc. And thus, we have woo trumping science on a regular basis.

But in most cases, scientific theories are not up for debate. Evolution is real, folks. We aren't way out on a limb here. We're pretty solid on the facts. We've got 150 years of facts piled up in neat little stacks all pointing toward the same reality. Sticking your head in the sand because it conflicts with what your preacher tells you, doesn't change the reality. There is no controversy. There are no two sides to this story. There is one and it is the right one.

When did the media become afraid to tell us this? This isn't a case of bitching about taxonomy with lumpers and splitters. Many, many things in life are stone-cold fact and any other perspective is fiction. For a lot of things, there are no shades of grey. When it comes to scientific theories, the only areas of grey are in the details.

But the real question is, why did the traditional media give up its credibility, and at what point did internet sources like Snopes and FactCheck.Org get to be the "trusted" source for Americans? I think it is time for the media regain its credibility. There is a reason that we protect professional journalists from revealing sources...it is precisely so they can bring us closer to some approximation of the truth. But no one has the balls to stand up for their own work anymore. The media has become unprincipled, unless that principle is making money. I think it is time for a media outlet to start acting like it is worthy of the tremendous protections that we bestow on them. Take the commentary and partisanship out of the reporting of the news and put it back where it belongs: in a clearly identified opinion/commentary portion of the news.

Is this asking too much?

Sarah Palin is not a Joke. This is Drop-Dead Serious Stuff.

The election is 4 weeks away. At this point, for me, there is only one issue in this election that matters. I'll give you a hint. It's not the economy.

Sarah Palin's performance in the vp debate was, by media pundit standards, "not awful". And the bar has been set so low for her that "not awful" apparently translates into credibility as a candidate and potential vice president. I don't know how to tell them, but no it doesn't.

There is only one way for me to describe what I saw coming from Sarah Palin during the vice-presidential debate last Thursday night: The Stupid. It Burns.

What did she say that was so stupid?

1. The vice presidency has "flexibility" inherent in it. That is to say that she supports Dick Cheney's "unitary executive". Although I doubt very seriously she has any idea what Cheney means by that. I doubt she has any idea how Cheney has changed the vice presidency. I doubt she has any idea how Cheney has trampled the Constitution. I doubt she has any idea how Cheney's expanded role misled the country into war, threatened and continues to threaten our prosperity and security, was responsible for setting up prisons of torture, and did all of it with blatant disregard for the law, the Constitution, the will of the people, and basic humanity. IMO, Dick Cheney is a war criminal. I suspect that her original statement to the press about the vice presidency is reality: she has no idea what a vice president does all day. She doesn't know because she's probably never read the f***king Constitution of the United States of America. How in the world she could swear before her God and her country to defend something she lacks basic understanding of is beyond me. The Stupid. It Burns.

2. If Palin didn't know the answer, she answered a question she did know the answer to and justified it by implying that in doing so, she was a maverick like John McCain. At one point she said to Joe Biden, "I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you want to hear." Somehow, she was under the mistaken impression that Joe Biden and Gwen Ifill were her constituency. She forgot one little group that might have an interest in her actually answering the questions posed: the American public. The Stupid. It Burns.

3. A shout out to Sarah Palin. You are not the MC of the high school pep rally anymore. That comment about school kids wasn't cute. It said to me that you weren't taking the debate seriously. The Stupid. It what? That's right. Burns, burns, burns.

4. She has gone on record as saying that she believes in a literal interpretation of the Bible. That is to say that she fervently believes the Earth is 6000 years old, that dinosaurs walked with humans, that abortion is wrong in all cases except for saving the life of the mother (which I doubt seriously she believes as well, but this is likely a compromise), that she was helped in her campaign to become governor by a fundamentalist minister who prayed over her (a minister, who, BTW, claims to have chased a witch out of his village), that God spoke to Moses from a burning bush, etc. Just think of this. She believes in a Earth-cleansing flood, tablets carved by the hand of God, the tower of Babel, the parting of the Red Sea, water into wine, walking on water, the creation of all life in 6 days. You name it, she's buying it. She believes that life is unchanging, that the prophesies are real, and she looks forward to the apocalypse. As Matt Damon pointed out, I don't want THAT having the nuclear codes. Oh, and Sarah dear? It's nuclear not nuke-u-lure. And I've got a mushroom cloud of burn.

If anyone can show me some reason....any reason at all....to believe that this woman has grasped a fundamental understanding and preparedness for the crushing responsibilities of the position to which she aspires, please, please, please....I beg of you....point them out to me now.

In claiming that Dick Cheney was "the most dangerous vice president we've had in American history", Joe Biden only had it partially right. If McCain is elected, that honor will be lauded upon a Vice President Palin. It is the job of the vice president to serve as second in command. To take the President's place should he or she be incapacitated. She is patently incapable of assuming this responsibility and fulfilling her role. That means that someone else will be running the country from the sidelines, and THAT someone is not someone we voted for.

At this moment in history, Sarah Palin is the most dangerous woman in the world. And the reason she is so is all John McCain's fault. For me, there is no choice in this election.

The Stupid. It Burns. And if they win, there will be nothing left but scorched Earth.

Is it Really Corruption on Wall Street

...when Wall Street is operating within the law? I haven't heard one expert accuse Wall Street professionals, as Sarah Palin did in the debate, of criminal activity. There was nothing illegal about anything they were doing. The only thing criminal here was that these businesses were given free reign without regulation or oversight that would have tempered the poor investment decisions and excessive risk that were packaged in these mortgage-backed derivative instruments.

But for Palin to call the pursuit of capital and profit in legal (if not poorly understood and ill-advised) investment instruments "corrupt" is ridiculous when it is the Republican/conservative approach to economics to get government out of the regulation/oversight business.

This economy is the most important issue in this election right now. It is the reason that no Republican deserves the vote they are asking you to give.

Shades of Bill Clinton

I never thought it was possible. Joe Biden of all people. Well, I'll let you tell me your thoughts on this moment.

I think this is the moment that Joe Biden will be remembered for forever. I believe this is his moment in history.

Create Mayhem: Vote

The Ya-Ya Sisterhood of the Non-Dangling Pants Parts

Ok, this is a response to J's post, which itself was a commentary to Emily Bazelon's article on Slate.

Here's the question. Do I, by virtue of having girly bits, feel some kinship with Sarah Palin? Do I, deep down inside, secretly want her to win (or at least do well) because she's one of us? Am I conflicted by the fact that I don't share a single personal value with this candidate, but want to vote for a woman? Am I anti-feminist if I don't applaud her ascent to power? Do I feel sorry for her because she isn't doing well?

Fuck.That.Shit.

Oh it's not that I don't want to see a woman succeed. It's just that I don't believe in a vagina network. My version of feminism isn't that women are pulling for one another, working as a group to overcome. Save the kum-ba-ya crap for church camp. Hey! I didn't contribute one of those 18 million cracks in Hillary's glass ceiling. IMO, that's not the purpose of feminism. The objective of feminism is to create a world where what's inside my pants ceases to matter unless I am actually using it at the time. This means that no woman should get a free pass to the front of the line. That means that if a woman gets to the highest level in her field, they shouldn't move the goalposts so she can, you know, serve as a role model. When everyone is allowed access to the same opportunities, how far we go is an individual endeavor. I'm not a feminist, per se. I just believe in equal opportunity.

Call me cold. Call me an anti-feminist. (You'd be dead wrong, but give it a go anyway.) I don't believe in double standards. There is one standard. If you are a woman and want to enter a traditionally male field, don't expect a paradigm shift to accommodate you. First woman entering the field? Little head's up for you. You are probably going to suck at it. You are probably going to be put down, second guessed, and judged more harshly than they'd ever judge one of their own. Is it worth it to you?

Ask Hillary Clinton that one. I think she'd say yes.

Maybe I'm insufficiently sentimental, but I have, without even knowing or understanding it, approached my entire life based on the idea that my gender doesn't limit me, excuse me, or condemn me. The only thing that truly limits me is me. I have met exceedingly few obstacles in my life that couldn't be driven over, around, or a detour found. Oh, I have experienced sexism. I just haven't allowed it to make a victim of me. I consider myself successful. Not a blazing light in the wilderness, but a little more than a bic lighter. A sea of bic lighters might make it easier to see, but it isn't the same as being the blazing light.

I know I'm going to hear it. The old "you're harder on women than other minorities."

Not really. Because I think the same should be true of all irrespective of race, gender, sexual orientation, place of birth, yadda, yadda, yadda. I didn't grow up in this "let's give all the kids a trophy so they feel good" era. I grew up where accomlishment and recognition were earned. And not everybody made it. Sometimes I failed. Sometimes I succeeded.

I do not want to be judged by a woman's standard in a man's world. I don't want special accommodation. I want to know when I make it that I made it on my own merits. If I had to work harder, my accomplishment is all the more satisfying. And I don't mind that other women have to work as hard. Intelligence, competence, ambition, hard work, and a little luck. You have to have drive to achieve. You have to want it and never say die.

I didn't buy into Clinton's "I'm doing this for Chelsea" bologna, and I don't feel sorry for Sarah Palin because she bit off more than she could chew. I remember once I found myself in the finals at a summer swim meet. THE FINALS. Ok, so I was in the far outside lane indicating that I made the finals by the skin of my teeth, but there I was. And I swam my heart out. And when I finished and looked up, everyone else was already done. More than one girl was already out of the pool. I came in dead last. Embarrassingly last. Slinking out of the pool and hoping no one asks my name last.

Welcome to my world, Sarah Palin. Sometimes the competition is vastly superior to you. And you have to learn to be okay with that. And not because you are a woman, but because that's how it is. America is a tough town. You can believe in yourself all you want, but sometimes you just come up lacking.

Sarah Palin isn't getting my vote...not because I don't want to see women succeed. She won't get my vote because she took an end run around to the front of the line. She didn't earn it. Ok, so she's also a neanderthal in her thinking and grossly unsuited and unqualified for the job. That's just gravy.

What's Up with the Republican Party?

Are they just having a group meltdown or something? After failing to get behind Sunday's bailout plan, some members of the House leadership blamed the failure of the bill on a harsh, but hardly over-the-top speechlet by Nancy Pelosi on the House floor. After the failure, the coward Republicans jumped on her like white on rice and said that her speech caused otherwise supportive representatives to vote against the bill--the same bill that everyone seems to agree is necessary to keep America from plunging into a deep and lasting economic recession.

This is an obvious and blatant lie. Congresspersons don't have feelings. Well, at least not in the performance of their jobs. If they did, they would never have been able to say the things, point the fingers and compromise in the way that politics demands. And as Barney Frank aptly put:

Frank: “We don’t believe they had the votes and I think they are covering up the embarrassment of not having the votes. But think about this: somebody hurt my feelings so I will punish the country. I mean that’s hardly plausible. And there were twelve Republicans who were ready to stand up for the economic interest of America but not if anybody insulted them. I’ll make an offer: Give me those twelve people’s names and I will go talk uncharacteristically nicely to them and tell them what wonderful people they are, and maybe they’ll now think about the country.”

My question is: what the heck is going on with the Republicans? After ruling Congress for 20 years with an unstoppable coalition, they have fallen apart and it's every man for himself. Is it GWB's low approval? Is it that their positions aren't resonating with the majority of Americans anymore? Is it that they are showing themselves to be the self-serving slime that most politicians are? Even then, party leadership can usually hold things together over the short-term to act in everyone's best interest....or at least the best interest of the party.

I can't imagine that if the economy tanks the Dems are going to be the one's left holding the bag. Can these guys not see beyond next week, or is November the only thing that matters to them? Sadly, I suspect the latter.

America Deserves an Explanation

Congress got a wake-up call yesterday. Actually it was more like a big flying F.U. Colossal failure of the bailout package yesterday sent Wall Street sinking and the political machine began to take Tums. How did this happen? It's what I've been saying all along. No one has bothered to explain to the American public anything about this economic "crisis". If you expect Americans to support spending $700 billion to bailout Wall Street and--let's face it--the real American elite have been pulling down six- and seven-figure salaries for decades for little or no leadership or risk, you'd better be damned ready to 'splain yerself, Lucy.

“The risk we run now is we will have a much deeper and more protracted recession than what we had before,” said Mark Gertler, an economics professor at New York University.

He faults politicians and government officials for not doing enough to help Americans understand why the crisis on Wall Street could start to hit home on Main Street. He also thinks no one bothered to spend enough time explaining to Americans how the proposal would work, leading many Americans to see it as simply a handout for Wall Street fat cats.

The proposed $700 billion bailout plan failed to pass the House of Representatives on Monday amid political squabbling and fears that a vote for the plan would impact what lever ordinary voters pull come Election Day.

“This is really a failure, at a massive level, of the political system,” Gertler said.

Politicians have been treating the American public like a bunch of little kids. Fear of runs on banks, massive sell-offs of stocks and the like does not give our elected leaders the right to keep us in the dark and demand we walk in lock-step with an administration we no longer trust. Why should we give billions to already rich people who seem to have no concern for the people they are now raping for tax dollars? Those little guys let their representatives know that they would show their disapproval of a "yes vote" with their votes in the fall. Game over.

If this issue really is bigger than individual elections, Congress needs to grow some cajones and communicate with the American public. I'm pissed off about this. I'm a citizen, too. And I've been TRYING to learn about why this bailout is necessary. I don't think even the media understands. Somehow GWB, Harry Paulson and Paul Krugman get it and I'm supposed to just, you know, believe them. It is a massive breakdown of the political process. As Krugman notes, "We've become a banana republic with nukes." Oh, and we should thank John McCain. Because, you know, he was so instrumental in bringing everyone to the table and getting them on board.

Television that Changed My Life

Someone challenged me to come up with my top ten all time favorite television shows. Impossible. Well, maybe not impossible, but given that I haven't watched television regularly for the past 8 years, it's difficult for me to do so in any meaningful way. I've probably missed a lot of great shows.

But for now, I'll just tell you about shows that I feel had a significant impact on my childhood. I was a tv junkie. Here goes.

The first one you already know about. The Flip Wilson Show. Flip Wilson was the funniest man I ever saw. He had great characters like Geraldine. Geraldine had a boyfriend, Killer, and no matter what she did, the devil made her do it. There was my absolute favorite character, Reverend Leroy of the Church of What's Happening Now. But the Flip Wilson show was a variety show and he had a large number of fantastic black artists. Don't underestimate it. It was an important part of integration in America. Flip was....Flip. He was black and never tried to be anything else. He was outrageous and out there. He was Laugh In, only better.









Speaking of which, number two is Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. Oh, I remember Goldie Hawn and Ruth Buzzie, and Jo Ann Worley and Arte Johnson, and...yes....the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate awarded every week by Dan Rowan and Dick Martin. But my favorite was always Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann. Who, as I recall, liked to sit on the bathtub drain as the water emptied because it felt good. Say goodnight, Dick. Goodnight, Dick.


Variety shows were pretty important in my life. Enter the Carol Burnett Show. It wasn't for years that I appreciated the ensemble that was the CBS. Harvey Korman, Tim Conway, and Vicki Lawrence (and later Lyle Waggoner). I always liked it when she took questions from the audience and the woman had the best Tarzan yell of anyone. No question about it. *ear tug*



Now when Colombo started, it was part of a weird group of dramas called the Mystery Movie that included McMillan and Wife, McCloud, and Hec Ramsey, Banacek, and some others. I didn't much care for McCloud, although it was popular, but I really liked the others. But, by far and away, Colombo was my favorite.





This list would not be complete without the king of the private dicks: Jim Rockford. The Rockford Files starred the perpetually broke Jim Rockford, who was handsome, cool, and aloof, but somehow my dad liked him. Besides, one episode had Issac Hayes on and he kept calling Jim "Rockfish". It had classic and likeable characters in the dad, Rocky, his former cell mate from San Quentin, Angel, and a parade of leggy brunettes and redheads that apparently were turned on by his messy single-wide or maybe it was that rockin' Pontiac Firebird. One of the all-time great theme songs.


Apparently, I was taken by shows about private eyes. Joe Mannix was one of my favorites. Of course, I thought he had a secret thing going with his secretary Peggy, but she seemed to always be above reproach. These guys were the coolest. They fostered in me a desire to become a detective. I actually think I would make a good detective. All except for that working with criminals part.




Ok, and now I'm going to show my hand. There was an important show (to me) called Daktari.

Set in east Africa, this was my first show about science. And megafauna. From here on out, I wanted to be a vet. Or a cop. Or maybe a vet-cop with a cross-eyed lion named Clarence.






From a very young age, I was addicted to late-night television. I used to watch Johnny Carson every night in the summer and after that a show with Tom Snyder. I think that show was called Tomorrow. But Johnny was a huge hero. I loved when he had on any of those old type Vegas types like Dean Martin or Joey Bishop or Buddy Hackett. But best, best, best of all were George Gobel, or Jonathan Winters or Bob Newhart.




Speaking of whom, my list would be incomplete without the Bob Newhart Show. Howard, Jerry, Marcia, Emily and Bob. This was the Seinfeld show before Seinfeld even began to think he was funny. I guess I'm a sucker for dry humor. Nothing much ever happened on the Newhart show. But his clients were entertaining and the show always pleased.


Finally, I'll end this list with a weird one.


Disney's Wonderful World of Color, aka Wonderful World of Disney. This had everything from cartoons to Disney Movies presented in series to nature shows that invariably followed some critter getting into the ranger's cabin and wreaking havoc. I loved this show. Disney was the Discovery Channel, The Cartoon Network, and Animal Planet of the pre-cable era. It had it all and Uncle Walt, too.



Well, thanks for taking this walk down memory lane with me. The 60s and early 70s were my childhood. Sometimes it's good to remember being a kid again. There is only one more show that I would include in this list, but it came later. That would be MASH. Maybe I'll do a television walkthrough of my adolesence and include that.

When Good Dogs Go Bad

So I had this coupon and decided to go to Penneys after work. They were shorthanded at the store and it took me longer than I expected to get out. By the time I got on the road, the rain and thunder and lightning was upon us. Unfortunately, I had left a window cracked. This is what Jake does when you leave a window cracked.

Oh, and before you think I don't know what cracked means. Think two fingers. Jake is a resourceful fella.

As I drove up the driveway and saw the window, I knew what to expect. Jake was long gone. But it was getting dark. I whistled and whistled and whistled but Jake didn't come. He usually comes. He's usually close. He's usually hiding under the wheelchair ramps or something. But it was really pouring. I doubt he could have heard me even if he was close. I got in the car and drove down what I thought was every road in Dowell. I shouted out the window for Jake.

Nothing.

I drove up and down I-51 looking for a hurt dog on the side of the road.

Thankfully, nothing.

Finally, a phone call came in. Jake was in Dowell in someone's garage. This is what I found when I got there. He was coated in a film of mud. His fur was speckled with grass seed. He was soaking wet. He was exhausted. I had to call him several times. He seemed not to recognize me. Finally he realized we were going home. He hopped in the car and laid right down. He got in the house and ran in the pantry and began to clean himself.


Tomorrow, I'll worry about the bath. For tonight I don't have the heart to stress him out anymore. Damn Midwestern thunderstorms.


Glad to have you home, buddy.

Seducing the Swing(er) States

Man, this is delicious.

All Barry needs is a bottle of Couvoisier. Johnny needs some hair. And Gary (sigh).

I love it that Barry and Johnny are flipping him off at the end. LOL

SNL just keeps getting better

My Childhood Idol

This is for Liv. She had no idea who Flip Wilson was. I'll tell you who he was. He was my childhood idol and the Flip Wilson Show was my favorite one of my favorite shows. (I almost forgot about that period that I wanted to BE Carol Burnette.) Although my favorite character of Flip's was Reverend Leroy of the Church of What's Happening Now (can't seem to find any video of that), I certainly was fond of the sassy Geraldine. Enjoy.



Interesting thing about this clip, too. Boxing was a lot bigger when I was a kid. It probably had everything to do with Muhammad Ali's float-like-a-butterfly-sting-like-a-bee persona, but boxing dominated back then.

Flip died in 1998 of liver disease. What a loss. But what a funny, funny man. And for those that think television and success change people, keep in mind that Flip Wilson quit television so he could be a better parent to his 4 children.

Priceless.

Whoa. You don't see this on television every day

Jack Cafferty is a bit upset about Sarah Palin. The volley with Wolf Blitzer at the end is the best.

Cafferty's lead in: There is a reason that the McCain campaign away from the press. I want to play an excerpt that Palin did with CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric where she was asked about the bailout package.

He then plays the now infamous Couric bailout question.

His response?

“Did you get that? If John McCain wins, this woman will be one 72-year-old’s heartbeat away from being President of the United States. If that doesn’t scare the hell out of you, it should. Here’s the question: is Governor Sarah Palin qualified to be President? Go to CNN.com/caffertyfile and post a comment on my blog.“

(To Wolf Blitzer) “I’m 65 and have been covering politics, as you have, for a long time. That is one of the most pathetic pieces of tape I have ever seen for someone aspiring to one of the highest offices in this country. That’s all I have to say.”
Blitzer: “Yeah, but she’s cramming a lot of information….”

Cafferty: “That’s…there’s no excuse for that. She’s supposed to know a little bit of this. You know. Don’t make excuses for her. That’s pathetic.”
Blitzer: “It was not her best answer. I…I agree with you.”

Also here:
Newsweek's Fareed Zakaria eviscerates Sarah Palin's selection as McCain's vp.

Everything I know about banking, I learned from this guy

Don't recognize him? That's Mr. Banks (David Tomlinson) from Disney's Mary Poppins.

George Banks was the model of discipline, restraint and temperance. He wouldn't even let his kids spend two cents to buy some seed for the birds. Bastard! But bankers are supposed to be bow-tie sporting, wing-tip wearing, ultra-conservative dicks. Not some coke-snorting, risk-taking seat-of-the-pants-flying, over-paid cash whores on a bender in a college town. And that is why this economic "crisis" leaves me with a very large 1980s hangover.

I can't believe that anyone, bankers and investment professionals included, can't understand that if you build your house on a bed of sand (and suck all the cash out of an enterprise), one day the whole house collapses.

In any event, I found this interesting article in the Business section of the Times today that at least can explain to me HOW we got here, if not why we got here. At least I feel like I can educate myself on these topics. Better late than never.