Undergraduate Plant Biology Majors: A taxonomic primer

How to identify and classify undergraduate plant biology majors.

1. Can identify four common local trees ....................................................................................3
2. There are plants outside? Outside is how I get from
   my car to the Life Science II Building....................................................................................11
   
   
3. Has dreds and smells of patchouli..........................................................................................5
4. Lacks dreds, patchouli conspicuously absent, other smells may dominate...................................7
   
   
5. On field trips for course on local flora, only asks the instructor
   "Can you eat this?"...........................................................................future dropout, safe to ignore
6. On field trips for course on local flora, never asks questions
   but stares intently at every plant............................................................................................7
   
   
7. Bicycles to school. Vegan. Has an exaggerated interest
   in vermiculture and recycling....................................................................Hippy Dippy PLB major
8. Passes for normal. Cuts hair reasonably often. Views on vermiculture
   and recycling unknown...........................................................................................................9
   
   
9. Develops enduring interest in plant secondary compounds............................................Mycologist
10. Vaguely remembers loving plants as a child but hasn't seen one since entering college...........................................................................................................average PLB major
    
    
11. Looks out of place on floor. Wears blue latex gloves. Talks on cell phone a lot......................................................................................................student worker, not a major
12. Lives on the floor. Can't identify a plant outside their area of research.
    Worries incessantly about job prospects and graduation..........................................Graduate student