Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Undergraduate Plant Biology Majors: A taxonomic primer

How to identify and classify undergraduate plant biology majors.

  1. Can identify four common local trees ....................................................................................3
  2. There are plants outside? Outside is how I get from
    my car to the Life Science II Building....................................................................................11

  3. Has dreds and smells of patchouli..........................................................................................5
  4. Lacks dreds, patchouli conspicuously absent, other smells may dominate...................................7

  5. On field trips for course on local flora, only asks the instructor
    "Can you eat this?"...........................................................................future dropout, safe to ignore
  6. On field trips for course on local flora, never asks questions
    but stares intently at every plant............................................................................................7

  7. Bicycles to school. Vegan. Has an exaggerated interest
    in vermiculture and recycling....................................................................Hippy Dippy PLB major
  8. Passes for normal. Cuts hair reasonably often. Views on vermiculture
    and recycling unknown...........................................................................................................9

  9. Develops enduring interest in plant secondary compounds............................................Mycologist
  10. Vaguely remembers loving plants as a child but hasn't seen one since entering college...........................................................................................................average PLB major

  11. Looks out of place on floor. Wears blue latex gloves. Talks on cell phone a lot......................................................................................................student worker, not a major
  12. Lives on the floor. Can't identify a plant outside their area of research.
    Worries incessantly about job prospects and graduation..........................................Graduate student



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